men are different

Ladies… Men are different!

Ladies! the answer is simple, men are different! Why are you taking advice about your relationships and your men from the likes of Cosmo and Marie-Claire? These are written by women who know nothing about men! 

Taking this advice is going to cause you more harm than you can possibly imagine. If men took all their relationship advice from their magazines, imagine the catastrophes that would ensue due to the helpful tips supplied by Nuts magazine, or those interesting educational articles supplied by PlayBoy?  Take it from me, a single woman fast approaching middle age, who has followed this advice for many years.  The fact that I am single shows that this advice doesn’t work.

Men are different!

There is much truth to the saying that men are from Mars and women are from Venus.  We share DNA, but let’s face it, we also share 98% of our DNA with monkeys, and not many of us would consider a relationship with a chimp!  Don’t get me wrong, we are alike in many ways; we have arms and legs, though men’s are stronger and hairier, we both have hair, but we ours can withstand bleaching, curling, straightening and coloring, whereas men, the poor things, can groom, oil and condition, and generally it can’t withstand the trauma, and thins and falls out at a rather rapid pace. We both have hands, theirs are great for opening jars, and ours are good for threading needles and other fiddly delicate tasks.  You see, as alike as we are, we are also poles apart.  Despite all of the physical attributes that we differ in, the major difference I’m afraid to report is in how we think.

Men are hunters, they like a challenge, and if you follow the advice of the aforementioned magazines, cooking him 3 course meals on the first date, massaging his shoulders after a hard round of golf and the likes, then they have no chance to chase, no chance to appreciate, and you will be, like me, wondering why there are no good men left in the world.

You have to think like a man

I have now learnt that in order to make a man happy, you sometimes have to think like a man.  Embrace their quirky thought patterns and enjoy where it takes you.  For example, you have men that forgo romance by using the excuse that they don’t have a very good imagination, are not creative enough to think what to do.  In this case, you can prove how wrong they are by doing the following:  plant the idea that they should join a gym; this works better if you have mastered the art of making your man think that something was his idea.  Maybe comment that a man friend at work has joined and you can’t believe how ‘ripped’ he looks so quickly, and later that night, rub his tummy whilst saying ‘awe, so cuddly’.  He will buy his membership the next morning.  Over the following weeks, see how many excuses he comes up with not to use it, and then point out just how creative he is after all!

Men, you can use cunning tactics to please your woman too…  Here is a little tip for you

A couple of weeks before your special ladies next Birthday, or Christmas, or valentine’s day, get excited and tell her that you have already got her a great present, and see if she can guess what it is.  Throw in some clues i.e. it’s something you really want, I know you’re going to love it, and then make a note of the list she gives you and you are good to go, safe in the knowledge that providing you stick to that list, you will have got something that she will love, and if you’re lucky, may even earn you the chance of one of the ‘woman’s tips’ that appear in Nuts Magazine.  Happiness and harmony is easy if you play to your strengths.